It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
