I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Quick, to the slutcave!
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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