now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
