R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
