He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Someone signed my nipple.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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