please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
