oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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