I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
