i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
