I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
i believe in u and ur pee
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize