Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
we're so committed to being not committed
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
