pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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