I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
