He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
