Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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