I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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