I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
handjob tips. give me some.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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