She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
