i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
