They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
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