Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
There was a lot of him and a little penis
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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