ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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