My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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