just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
