You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
