people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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