Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
