the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I showed him my bush... on skype.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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