half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
