i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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