Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
