we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
