Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
NoShamevember. You game?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
