dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
