it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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