I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
only if we run a train.
done.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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