I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You can't motorboat a personality
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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