I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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