just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
