the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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