The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
nutella sex= disaster
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize