you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
