And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
