I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
