Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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