she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
