After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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