8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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