i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
did i walk over a car last night?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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