my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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