Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
