i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
