But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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