I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
