If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
