I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
