come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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