listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
