So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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