i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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