i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
