before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
