I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
