Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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Randomize
