Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
