I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
