I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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