Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
