Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
