why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
