just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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