Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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