I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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