I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
