party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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