Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
