You're completely useless in the revolution.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You are the jesus of drinking
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
